SONG: Neighbors
(Duke, May)

My neighbors were old people.
They never liked to play with me.
My friends were all young people.
They never lived too close to me.

 I always wanted to play G.I. Joe.
 But my neighbors did not -- they preferred to sew.

My neighbors never liked Go-Bots.
And my Transformers made them wheeze.
My neighbors couldn't help me study.
So all I got were C's and D's.

 I always wanted to learn real good
 And do my homework, like I knew I should.

My neighbors thought that sock puppets
Would keep me entertained all day.
My neighbors never seemed to realize
I'd rather stay at home and play.

 I wished I could play Super Mario,
 But my neighbors did not have a Nintendo.

<yelling>
My neighbors were the cruelest people that I ever knew!
If you had grown up next to them, well you would think so too!
They never played in my back yard, I had nothing to do!
Cuz when your neighbors are not kids you're always feelin' blue...
</yelling>

My neighbors liked to sport visors,
And they were always wearing plaid.
The folks that lived near me were total misers
So all my Halloweens were sad.

 I'd try to sell them Scout-O-Rama tickets.
 My neighbors would not buy them, they were much too wicked.

Those neighbor people never sponsored
When I read for the March of Dimes.
And come to think of it, I never got my ball back.
Although I asked a hundred times.

 I thought my cookies weren't too overpriced,
 My neighbors still won't buy them, they're the Antichrist!