SONG: Crazy Old Man Apple
(Duke)

[C] Crazy Old Man [Am] Apple
[G] Lives on a [C] hill
[F] Tired of life, and he's [C] sick of his wife
He [G] says he done drunk [C] his [G] fill

Crazy Old Man Apple
Runs his mouth all day
He makes it all up, and you can't interrupt
'Least that's what the neighbors say

	And he's a [F] crazy old [C] bastard [G] man,
	And he [C] tells it like [G] no one [Am] can,
	He's a [F] shotgun carrying, rich bitch marry[C]ing,
	[G] Crazy old [C] Ap- [G] ple [C] man [F] [C]

Crazy Old Man Apple
Sits on his front lawn
Plastic lawn chair that he bought at the fair
The kids say his mind's done gone

Crazy Old Man Apple
He's got no teeth on top
Folks say they decayed in the usual way
From the sugar that he ate non-stop

	And he's a crazy old bastard man
	But he's chewin' like no man can
	He's a lemon wedge suckling, tight white-knuckling
	Crazy old Apple man

	Yeah he's crazy old bastard man
	And you're never gonna understand
	Cuz while he's reminiscin' well the world's not list'nin' to the
	Crazy old Apple man

<end riff>